We had a lot of blessings and some heartbreak since I last blogged. Right now I am still working through the loss of little Emmanuel. It’s not going well. I would have been about 9 months now and would not be dreading “Mom’s Camp” this Saturday. Who would make a pregnant lady run her 17yr. old son’s football plays?? Instead I am post pregnancy weight and still hormonal. Joy!
Losing Emmanuel was the most heartbreaking experience we’ve ever faced in our family. We could clearly see God’s hand in preparing us and even others who would support us in our time of need. He carried us through, helping us each step of the way. That is why we chose the name Emmanuel – God with us.
I clung to many verses. One was Romans 8:28 – “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him.” That’s where I’m at now – waiting for the good. What was it? What is it? How is He using this for good? Were we an example to others that even though something bad happened to us we didn’t curse God? Was someone brought into a closer relationship with God through this or by hearing something at the memorial service? Is God going to send someone into my life in the future that I can comfort? I admit, I’m still sad, mad, frustrated, impatient and probably a lot of other things if you ask my family. Currently, I do not feel close with God but I know His truth and I know it’s me and not Him. So begins my journey back.
This year I am homeschooling my 7 soon to be 8 yr. old daughter. Why? Because I can :) There is no one defining reason. There were many little things that brought us to this decision. There are many benefits to homeschooling for us like more family time, less drama and curriculum that brings faith into the lessons. I'm sure I will be sharing stories of our journey here.
Unfortunately this post is mostly rambling. Sorry about that. I just have to say before stopping – has the world gone completely mad? I cannot believe the headlines. I like to skim through multiple news sites to get the news – including the crackpot sites. Sometimes they report stuff a week before it hits the mainstream news. And these days the same story has a totally different headline and sway, depending which news site you’re on. What happened to non-biased reporting? And the comments – twitter, facebook, news and other sites – Seriously? Take a moment to think. I am shocked at how quickly people assume/believe the worst of someone else or a situation and spew this hate. It’s actually worse than hate. Then there are people who continually put God in a box and decide what He would or wouldn’t do based on what they think. Um, God is pretty clear in His word. If you’re going to speak for Him please be accurate. And, the lies - I am speechless. I cannot believe that people in authority can lie through their teeth and not be held accountable or face any consequences. There is so evil going on in the world right now that I’m not even mentioning . . . yet. I don’t get it. But God reminds me why.
The same verse continually comes to mind in these situations: Ephesians 6:12 “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." Christians – remember this before you engage. Know the true enemy and how to fight Him.
"Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.” Ephesians 6:14-18
